Wednesday, October 31, 2012

You Can’t Love Someone Else Till You Love Yourself

I had loved this girl unconditionally. I did everything to make her happy, even though I was not happy. I gave her everything she wanted without thinking about what I wanted. Everything I did was not enough, she still left me alone. I was the nicest companion she could ever have wanted, but what went wrong? Let me explain!

You see, when we broke up, I came to realize, everything that I said above was not what was right but what was wrong in our relationship.

I loved her unconditionally without loving myself first unconditionally. I was so down on myself that I thought I didn't deserve anyone that loves me. And so I made this pedestal to remind me, every woman, in fact everyone was above me. If you saw me, you would think I was so strong and confident, but inside, I was really weak. I did everything to make her happy, where in fact I should have done everything to make myself happy, then she would be happy being with me. I gave her everything she wanted without thinking what we needed. I had permitted her to disregard my feelings, losing my respect for myself and thus losing her respect too. I was the nicest person to her but I was not the nicest person to myself. I let myself get hurt. I let myself became a trash to the person I loved. I had not loved myself enough.

Of all the things that have happened, I am still thankful that she came into my life. I have learned the lessons in love in the hardest way. In order to love another person right, you must first learn to love yourself. If you are happy with yourself, anyone you love will be happy being with you. Your own happiness should not depend on other person’s happiness, always put yourself first. By that time you make yourself happy, you will have learned how to make others happy too. Love yourself, how can you accept a woman and her flaws when you can't accept your own? Be confident about yourself; learn the power of the mind. If you think that you are nothing, you will become nothing but if you think you can be anything, then you can be. Remember, everything we have and will become starts with the mind, then it becomes reality, so start thinking great things about yourself and thus you will become great. You should not put anyone on a pedestal or above you. In love, we are all equal. Remember, God loves us all even though he is God. Lastly, always keep your dignity. You may lose everything else but never lose respect for yourself. If you lose that respect then everything anyone does to you will be just fine with you.

If someone treats you badly, don't treat them bad in return, just tell them you won't tolerate rudeness or disrespect, if they won't listen, just walk away. You don't need people who treat you badly in your life; you just have to let them go. It is always said we should be kind to others. I agree but I also say, be kind to those who deserve your kindness... Loving yourself isn’t that bad at all. Actually, it feels great. Be Blessed and love someone today!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Arrogance of being President while being Black

I don't think anyone was under some real illusion that the election of Barack Obama actually means the end of racism in America. I'm pretty sure that the president-elect knew it better than anyone. After all, he saw it every day, from the moment he announced his candidacy. To some degree, he saw it within his own party during the primaries. And he saw it in all ugliness during the general election. For half of this country, he was "That One". No matter how big and clear his victory was. No matter how smart he is. No matter how decent he is. No matter what a true patriot he is. No matter how optimistic and positive his vision for America was. All that didn't matter. Because at the end of the day, he was still black.
I've seen so many presidents. Some were feared, some were hated, some were adored, some popular and some not. But all of them, without exception, were treated with the highest respect deserving the office of the president of the United States.
That is until a black man won the right to occupy this office. It's been 4 years now, and in the eyes of so many, Barack Obama is still that one. He is being disrespected and at the same time being held to the highest standard of any president I've ever seen – and not just by the Republican side! He has to perform three times better than any president in history and even that may not be enough.

For the media, he is many more times just "Obama" than "President Obama". They create scandals out of nothing issues. It took them at least 6 years to start giving Bush a small part of the shit he deserved. It took them 6 months to begin crap all over Obama because he's yet to fix the catastrophe that was left for him.

They use condescending tones when they talk about him, and only mildly less condescending when they talk TO him. With anyone else, CNN wouldn't dare go to commercials every time the president speaks, like they do. They wouldn't dare be counting how many minutes George Bush or Bill Clinton were talking. Chris Mathews wouldn't dare make an issue out of Ronald Regan calling members of congress by their first name, like he is not actually the president. They fully cooperate with the Right-Wing smear machine when it comes to president Obama's national security performance – even if almost every independent and military expert actually thinks that he's a terrific Commander-in-Chief. You'll never see them on TV and virtually no one from the Left, in congress and outside, defend the president on this matter.

I don't care about the Far-Right. They're just crazy ignorant Neanderthals. It's the way the beltway and the mainstream treats this president that is shocking. They look like they're going to vomit every time they had to say "Mr. President". They all had this Eric-Cantor-Smirk whenever he spoke. Then they went out and started to spit their stupid talking points, to the delight of the media.

Oh, those talking points. He is arrogant (because he knows the facts better than all of them combined). He is an elitist (because he uses big words that they don't understand). He is weak on national security (because he actually thinks about the consequences). He divides the country (well, he did that the day he had the audacity to win the election). Worst of all, he actually thinks that he's the president. He even dared to say so. How arrogant of him. You'd think that previous presidents didn't have any ego. Somehow it turned out that the one president who treats even his biggest opponents with the utmost respect – is the arrogant one. I wonder why?

I expected that his winning the Presidency would bring out some ugliness, but it's been far worse than I imagined. The racism coming from the Right is obviously clear and shameless, but there's also some hidden and maybe subconscious and disturbing underline tone behind some of the things that I read here and throughout the Left blogosphere, even before the end of Obama's first year - 'He's weak, he's spineless, he's got no balls, primary him in 2012'. It'll be dishonest to deny that.

The fact is that for millions in America, Barack Obama is this uppity black man (Not even a "real" black), who received good education only due to affirmative action, and has no right to litter the sacred Oval Office with his skin color. They just can't accept the fact that the president is a black man, who unlike his predecessor, was actually legally elected. But what's really sad is that it's not just the fringe, its deep deep in mainstream America.

Barack Obama's ability to remain above all this slob, to keep his optimism and his strange and mostly unjustified faith in people, while continuing to gracefully deal with an endless shitstorm – is one of the most inspiring displays of human quality I have ever seen. And I can only hope that the Cosmos is on his side because God is and He never makes a mistake.

Sometimes, they make me feel ashamed to be American!!